Feeling Burned Out? Here’s How to Focus on Yourself

Stressed and burnt out? Find out how to focus on yourself for a change!

 

I’m going to be real for a minute.  2020 has been one of the toughest years of my life.

I have been with all 4 of my kids for almost 90 days and I’m starting to lose my mind.  Sure the parks and other places are open now.  But we’re still staying home since the Coronavirus is just now taking off in Oklahoma.  And Trump rallying here last weekend certainly didn’t help the situation! 🤔

Here’s the truth – I have been suffering from Mommy Burnout since long before this pandemic was a thing.  Around October last year, I started sleeping A LOT.  It continued into January and only got worse.  No matter how much sleep I got, I always needed more.  I feel irritable, angry, and defeated constantly.

When the schools first closed, I was jolted into action and had the energy to do whatever I needed for my family’s safety and well-being.  But after 2.5 months of homeschooling, that ship has sailed and I’m back to feeling burned out again.

Two weeks ago, my 5-year old left the freezer door open in our garage and spoiled all of our meat.  And then he broke his bedroom window with a stick.  YES, A STICK!  He was lightly tapping on it from the backyard and it shattered all over his bed. 😵

I feel like I’m stuck in the twilight zone – with 2 more months left of summer – I find myself counting down the days until school starts.  I should be enjoying time with my 3-year old before she starts school for the first time, but instead, I’m longing for time to myself.

There’s no doubt about it – I’m experiencing Mommy Burnout and I have been for a while.

I’ve struggled with whether or not to share this on the blog, but I think that it can help other moms out there who are going through the same thing.

I don’t claim to have all the answers.  I’m not a psychologist and I don’t have any specific solutions to help if you’re also feeling burned out as a mom.  What I do have is a few tips that help me make it from one day to the next.  

Here’s what I’ve got.

 

 

 

#1 – REEVALUATE YOUR PRIORITIES

If living through a pandemic taught me anything, it’s that we need to slow down.

For years, I have been always on the go – running here and there all week long, with a million things on my plate and even more things running through my mind.

But those days are long gone.  I’m ready to take a step back and relax – for the first time in my life.

Sure, my children’s extracurricular activities have been canceled, and that’s definitely made a difference.  As soon as it’s safe to do so, I will let them return, primarily because it’s not fair to them to be locked up inside for months on end.

But we will not be focusing on as many activities as we used to.  For the time being, each of my children will have one activity, not including any necessary therapy. 

And I plan to schedule everything all in one day, if possible.  

This means we’ll be super busy for 1-2 nights a week and for the remainder of the week, we can relax.  

I will need to do a complete overhaul of our schedule, our weekly routine, and our meal plan, but if it helps us slow down and take a step back, I’m all for it.

Being organized is about adjusting as needed and adapting when necessary.

I challenge you to use this exercise for yourself.  Are there any activities that your family doesn’t miss? Consider cutting those from your schedule when life returns to normal.

For the activities you want to keep, consider scheduling them all in 1-2 days as opposed to different days throughout the week.

 

 

#2 – STEP AWAY FROM SOCIAL MEDIA & THE NEWS

If you’re experiencing Mommy Burnout, it will do wonders for your sanity to just turn your phone off.

I did this a few months ago and I’ve never looked back.  Spending free time focusing on yourself is a much better use of your time as opposed to reading about what your friends are doing. 

Similarly, I’ve also stopped watching the news.

Every now and then, I will tune into Good Morning America in the early morning before my kids are awake, but usually just long enough to catch the headlines. 

As for political news, I periodically text 2-3 family members and ask their opinion about what’s going on in Washington.  They usually have all the information that I need and I’ve found that they are happy to give their opinion!

In my free time, I’ve been relaxing.  Reading more books, putting my feet up, and learning new things.  

If you’re ready to focus on yourself for a change, this is a great place to start!

Start reading through that stack of books on your nightstand.  Declutter your closet to make room for some new clothes.

And go to bed early.  Watch some old sitcom reruns that make you laugh and feel nostalgic.

Whatever you need to do that you actually want to do.  Focus on yourself and forget about social media.

It can be easy to get sucked into the comparison trap of social media.  But remember, you are your own person and others don’t define you.  If you’re feeling burned out, use the free time for things you actually enjoy doing!

 

 

If you absolutely want to stay in the loop, I recommend finding a friend you can check in with a few times a month.  I’m sure they’ll be happy to share all the latest gossip with you.

 

 

#3 – RECONSIDER YOUR ROUTINES

If you’re feeling burned out and need some time to yourself, readjusting your routines can go a long way!

The best way to handle this is to take a good, long, hard look at what is and isn’t working in your day-to-day life.

Is your laundry piling up, causing you to have to spend all weekend getting caught up?  Maybe a weekly routine will help you keep your laundry under control and your house clean.  This will free up time on the weekends!

You can also start dinner earlier so you can find time for yourself before bed.

One thing that I’ve started to do is to let go of our daily quiet time.  This time has been my saving grace for the past 4 years, but lately, it was starting to become more of a burden.  Instead of relaxing and finding time for myself while my kids napped and/or played quietly, I’ve had to battle with them just to be quiet.  My 3-year old isn’t quite ready to give up her nap yet.  But to be honest, I’m tired of wrestling with her and my other kids.  Since I’ve eased up on my restrictions of quiet time, I’ve actually been able to find MORE time for myself.  The kids sneak off to their rooms to play and let me do my thing.  Whereas before, our quiet time hour was devoted to sushing them. 

Whatever time of day isn’t working, work on some concrete solutions and then put them into practice so you can focus on yourself for a change!

 

 

 

#4 – FOCUS ON YOUR HEALTH AND WELLNESS

I know all too well what happens when as mothers, we put ourselves last.

For the last 7 months, I’ve been feeling run down, depressed, and burned out.  It took me a few months to realize what was happening (I thought I was just really tired and really angry), but now I know to take it for what it is – a wake-up call.

 

One way you can focus on your wellness is to take cues from your body as to what you should focus on during any given particular day.

For example, if you’re really tired, that obviously means you should catch up on sleep.  If you’re feeling tense, you can take a long bath or go for a walk around the block.

When you are stressed, use that as a cue that you need to take a step back and spend some quiet time alone.

Keep a list of self-care activities on your nightstand so you can refer to it when needed.

Having multiple children is not for the faint of heart.  It’s super easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and before you know it, it’s time for bed and you realize that you haven’t used the restroom since lunchtime.

That’s why a list of self-care activities can be so helpful.  You can literally look at it and be reminded of the fact that you’re more than just a “mom”. 

You’re a real person with real needs, and sometimes you need to be taken care of too.

 

 

#5 – SIMPLIFY YOUR DAY

I challenge you to consider what you can say no to.

Keep your expectations realistic, especially when you’re feeling burned out! 

Areas you can consider saying no to include keeping the house clean, responding to emails (and text messages!), and cooking a made-from-scratch dinner multiple times a week.

Instead, you can focus on basic cleaning duties and simple meals with less than 5 ingredients.

As far as responding to emails and texts, unless it’s an immediate family member, you’re under no obligation to reply to someone right away.  Get back to them when it’s convenient for you.  Focus on yourself first and foremost, and then, reply to emails and texts.

You’re important too, Momma. 

It can be hard to remember that from one day to the next, but it’s worth reminding yourself of daily.

 

 

 

#6 – FOCUS ON ONE WEEK AT A TIME

Instead of trying to focus on the unforeseeable future, focus on one week at a time.

I know this is easier said than done, especially when you’re feeling burned out and there’s no end in sight.

But here are a few ways you can make this work for you:

 

Plan for the Next 7 Days

– Stop stressing about next month!  Plan and focus on just 7 days at a time.

– Schedule a family meeting for next Sunday so everyone can check in with each other.

– And meal plan for just one week.

You certainly don’t need to add more stress to your plate by trying to choose 30 days worth of meals in one sitting.

Plan 14-21 meals for the next 7 days and then next Sunday, focus on the following 7 days.

 

Set Goals and Make Lists

– Create a few goals for what you’d like to get done over the next week, like chores, family activities, and even alone time for yourself.

– From there, break your goals down into manageable mini-tasks throughout the week.

You can choose 7 cleaning tasks that you want to get done, 3 nights of family activities, and 2 nights of time for yourself.

Add them to your planner and use the rest of your time to focus on meals, work, and self-care activities.

 

 

 

TAKE IT EASY AND FOCUS ON YOURSELF

Motherhood is stressful!

It’s okay to accept the fact that you can’t do every thing.  And if you’re experiencing Mommy Burnout, you shouldn’t try to do it all!  

Don’t worry about next month.  Try not to think about what needs to be done and when. 

The best advice I can give is to live in the moment.  Pay attention to your current needs.

That’s what’s helping me in this season of life when I’m feeling burned out, stressed, and overwhelmed.

Mommy Burnout is real and to be honest, it can feel never-ending.  All you can do is focus on yourself.  And for right now, that’s all you should do.

How do you deal with Mommy Burnout?  Let’s keep it going in the comments. 👇

 

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